Friday, August 16, 2002

Again, long time since the last update... I totally forgot about this blog, sorry. But now I'm really bored so I think I'll update it. Well, I read my last post and I'm not really sure what that was about, I mean, I think it was bc of that guy - I don't even wanna say his name bc I SO hate him. I mean, we talk n stuff but I just don't like him at all. So moving on... the day after my last post I went to an awesome party with Skazi, Talamasca, Absolum and Nomad - it was SOOO cool! And I've been to a hell of a lot of parties after that one... and next week I'm going to the Boom Festival! Weeeee! Can't wait! So... yea... dang, I can't think of anything to write right now, so I guess I'll update later... if I remember... so bye :)

Friday, May 10, 2002

I wanna disappear. I'm sick of everything. Why must I always be the suffering one? I'm tired of suffering, I'm tired of living, I'm so tired and sick of everything, I just wanna close my eyes and never wake up again, never go through this again, I'm suffering so much... I never thought I'd be like this... even though it's not the first time... I'm so stupid, it's all my fault, I always get way too envolved and then it happens the same all the time, I should already know, damn, why am I so stupid and keep making the same mistake? I should've learned not to trust people so much, especially the ones that already proved me they don't deserve it; but I can't, I always trust them and they always disappoint me, I'm so fuckin sick... I wanna be alone with my pain and never see someone again, never talk to someone again, never go through this again... I'm so sad, so sad, so sad...

Tuesday, May 07, 2002

1 post em português pk eu preciso de desabafar e este é o único blog k eu n uso e tenho kuase a certeza k nunka ng conhecido vai ler por isso... ontem o transmite perg se eu keria namorar c ele (detesto a expressão "pedir em namoro", n sei pk!). eu disse k n sabia. tou tão confusa!! por 1 lado n gosto dele a sério e n tou preparada p enfrentar o k certas pessoas (teresa, kiki, ivan...) iriam dizer; por outro, até gosto 1 beka dele, adoro tar c ele e n o kero magoar... aiaiai n sei o k fazer! ele foi p o porto, se calhar só o vejo p a semana, e jah tou a morrer de saudades!!!! mas é nakela, n gosto dele mmo a sério, n sei... jah passamos ttas cenas juntos... jah desde fevereiro k nos andamos a comer, jah fiz ttos filmes, sofri tto nakela altura desgraçada das férias da páscoa... e foi tão boa a sensação de acordar, abrir os olhos e vê-lo a dormir ao meu lado, abraçado a mim, e acordá-lo c 1 bjo... e ontem qd íamos no carro c mais 5 pessoas ao lado e ele me perguntou baixinho "queres namorar cmg?"... foi bué de fixe. e qd fomos a casa do daniel abraçados a falar... ai, to bué confusa, por 1 lado n me sinto preparada p namorar c ele, por outro, gostava de saber como seria... mas nem kero imaginar o k certas pessoas iriam dizer... a teresa nunka mais na vida me falava... e n sei se kero tar a enfrentar tta gente por causa dele... n sei, n sei... axo k tenho de falar c ele sobre isso. tenho saudades deleeee =\\

Monday, May 06, 2002

Dude! I haven't updated since November! It's a hell of a lotta time! My life has changed so much, and so many things had happened... Tina came back to live here, we're still the bestest friends in the world. I broke up with my bf some time ago. Now I'm going out with this guy called Transmite, but we have a kinda weird relationship. He was my friend Teresa's bf, then they broke up but still made out like every day. Then he started to be a really good friend of mine and I started to feel something for him, and he kept hitting on me and stuff, and at Parreira's bday party we made out. For 1 month we kept making out every day, we were always together and everyone knew, but it was nothing official. Then some really bad stuff happened, all my friends were mad with each other, it was a really tough time actually. So we "broke up" and we stopped talking with each other cuz he was a real jerk. But then after like 2 weeks we started talking again, we started to be good friends again and yea, we made out again. And we've been going out since then, but it's still nothing official. It's ok for me cuz I don't really *love* him, but I like him a lot, he's a sweetie. Last Friday we slept over at Tina's house and it was an incredible night. We didn't do it, lol, but it was really special. He said he loved me and stuff, but we haven't talked about it since then. Oh well. But I still haven't told you the best part of my life - now my life is all about trance. I'm sooo addicted to parties. I go to one (or 2) every weekend, I'm friends with lots of DJs (especially with Xico, he's my idol, he's the best DJ in the whole world!!!), I know almost everyone at parties (and everyone knows me! It's incredible how many ppl I have to say hi at parties)... yea, my life is trance. Definitely. I only feel happy at parties, I spend the whole week thinkin and talking about parties... and all my friends are like me. We all SO got into the trance thing. I'm gonna tattoo the trance symbol in my wrist =) Well, I guess that's it for now, I gtg study, argh, argh =\\\ i'll try to update someday... meanwhile go to my site, it's in portuguese but ya =)******

Friday, November 09, 2001

Whassup?? My Halloween was BORING - really, nothing special happened. I got drunk (wee) and fell asleep on the floor of the place we always go for smoking, lol. After I woke up at like 1am, I went to the club, but it was boring... Ruben wasn't there, but, ya know, I just don't care now bc me and my bf hooked up again! That thing about Ruben, I think it was just like physical attraction, and with my bf it's something a lot deeper. Things weren't the same before we broke up, but then after that we talked a lot and I couldn't stop thinking about him, and we're back for good now. And damn, it's goood!! It's better than ANYTHING in the world! ;) Right now I'm listening to Incubus' "I miss you", cuz when we started to date he played this song for me in the guitar. "You do something to me that I can't explain..." That's right! I've never loved anyone as I love him... I've liked him since I met him, in December last year, but we only started to date on July. That was like a dream come true to me! Anyway, I gotta stop talking bout him. Oh, just one more thing! Today we went to see this dance that's like they're fighting while they're dancing (can't really explain) in the gym, and then we were going up the stairs, just the two of us, holding hands and stuff, who do I see?? Ruben!! I was like "what the hell". He kept looking at us, but I didn't care at all. Ok, he's super HOT, but so is my bf (hehe)! Well... more stuff: after Halloween I had a cool week, especially on Thursday it was a lotta fun - there was a Super Bock party at the bar (after I promised I wouldn't drink anymore, guess what... I did!), and then I had dinner with Tina, Joana and Sara, it was soooo funny! It was awesome! Saturday was really cool too, I was with my two best friends, Tina and Ivan, and two other friends all afternoon at Tina's house. It was fun! Tina left on Sunday, sniff sniff - I miss her SOO much! She called me today though, it was great. I had lots of tests this week, but they were ok. Tmw I'm gonna have lunch in Coimbra with some online friends - I'm kinda nervous about that but I can't wait to meet them! And at night my friend Ana Catarina is gonna sleep over and we're going to the club, I think there's a party there - I hope it's gonna be great! Oh yeah, today at the dance thingy, I saw a friend from Torreira (where I spent my holidays)! I haven't seen him for like 2 months, it was cool! I saw his gf too... like, after 2 months without seeing her, I walk to her and I'm like, "hello... do you have a cigarette?" lol Well I gtg sleep now, tmw I gotta wake up early for the lunch in Coimbra (is kinda far from here)... Now I'm listening to Staind's "Outside", it SO reminds me of my holidays... this makes me really depressed but whatever. Well, bye ******* love ya a HUGE lot!!

Wednesday, October 31, 2001

Heyas! Today's a special day - it's HALLOWEEN mah ppl!! Party all night!! Weeeee!!! These days have been cool - Tina came back on Friday, that's really great. I haven't seen Ruben (the hot guy I talked about a lot in my last post lol) a lot... I saw him once in school and he smiled at me, woo-hoo, but that was all. Saturday night I saw him, but I didn't talk to him... once again, I was quite drunk (well, I had to celebrate Tina's comeback!), and I walked by him and I didn't even look at him cuz I just didn't know what to do! Damn I have to stop being so shy. Anyway - that night was cool - I saw "Bridget Jones Diary" with Tina and Joana, then Joana left and me and Tina just hung around with our friends... We almost fell asleep in front of a bar here, lol, cuz we were so drunk. When I was coming home (I was sooo dizzy, I was almost falling the whole time) I found Danny and other 2 guys and I smoked with them, in front of my house! I was kinda scared that my parents would see me - and a neighbour walked by me, lol, he gave me a really dirty look. But it's all good :) Well, Monday I saw "American Pie 2" with Tina, then we went to drink "rosinhas" (it's a really cheap and really alcoholic drink - great combination!) - omg I got SO drunk! I felt really drunk and dizzy for about 6 hours - my longest drunkenness ever, and my 2nd worst (the worst was in Algarve, when I totally blanked out and threw up in the street - don't even ask). But it was cool, cuz me and Tina had this really cool talk and I told her EVERYTHING I wanted to say but didn't have enough courage (about Ruben and stuff), and so did she. I needed to buy some jeans but I didn't feel like trying them so I just bought a pair, having no idea how they fit and stuff, lol. I had dinner with Tina, we ate a pizza at a restaurant. Yesterday was cool too - my friend Ivan bought 2 bottles of cheap wine and we spent the afternoon drinking. This time I wasn't so drunk, like, it was like I couldn't feel anything, I was just... fine! Ya know? Well, I know it really looks like I'm an alcoholic, lol, but I'm not, really! I almost never drink - just at some weekends. But I don't have classes this week so it's like everyday is weekend! lol Anywayz - I'm looking forward to this night, but I'm afraid... Like, I'm hoping Ruben comes here, I want it really bad, cuz it's my only chance to make out with him, but there's a party in his town so I bet he won't come here... And I really want it SO BAD! If he doesn't come here (which I'm like 99% sure), my night's gonna be crap - I won't stop thinkin about him and I'm not gonna have any fun =( I really hope he decides to come here, but I bet everything ya want in that he won't come =( Well, my friend Ana is gonna sleep over, and almost all my friends are going to the club so I hope it'll be cool... Tmw there's a Super-Bock party at the bar (hardy har har) but I have to go to the cemetery - duh! I hate it! But I'm gonna try to run away from my family and go drink something... lol Oh yea, and tonite Ivan and Metinha are gonna bring wine! Aweee! Fun! Maybe if I get just a bit drunk, and Ruben comes here, it'll be easier for me, bc when I'm drunk I'm not so shy. Well... gtg now... I'm gonna try to sleep a bit bc I'm really tired, and tonight I'm gonna go through a lot... I'm gonna drink a lot, walk around all the bars, go to the cemetery at midnight (lol hey it's Halloween!), walk to the club (30 minutes!), dance a lot, walk back home really late... I have to sleep or I won't make it! lol bubbye - I'll post later to tell y'all bout my halloween! wish me luck! ******** =)

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

One more time, loooong time since my last post! Ok, I had to stop writing bc all my family came here cuz it was my dad's bday =P Anyway - lots of stuff have happened to me, but who cares? I've been very busy these days cuz I'm having lots os tests in school. Like, tmw I have a Geography test and I still haven't studied the 100 pages I should. I should've studied this afternoon but I spent it with Ana F watching TV and eating peanuts, lol. Well - let's talk bout something else, shall we? Last Saturday I went to a birthday party, but don't even get me started with it!! It was crap and bc of that me and Ana don't talk to the birthday girl anymore. But there was a cool part - Saturday night! We went to the club, but only couples could get in. Ana, Claudia (my ex-friend, the bday girl) and Soraia (her cousin) had couples (their bf) but me and Ana F didn't. There were these guys I know by view (I talked once or twice with some) at the door, so Ana F went in with one of them (he's her friend) and I went in with this HOOTTTT guy! He kissed my hand, lol, and gave me his arm, and then he payed me a drink, woo-hoo!! He was always calling me to dance with him, but I can't really dance with someone so I didn't. Ana F told him I was shy (what the hell! lol) and he said he was too, lol. Yeah right! When he was with my friend Monica he definitely wasn't shy! Anyway - it was cool at the club, we danced a lot, just in the end I was alone and it was crap. I haven't seen the hot guy since then - oh, I saw him once in school but he was really far. Oh yea, I forgot to tell - I broke up with my bf the day after my last post. I don't know, it wasn't the same thing anymore... Now I'm freeeee!! Weee! I really wanna talk with that guy again - Saturday I was kinda stupid bc I was *kinda* (take it as "a lot") drunk so I wasn't feeling like moving too much (don't take in a bad sense pleaseee!). I really would like to have something more with him, ya know? Not date though. My friends keep saying he was quite interested in me but I'm not sure... argh I hate this stuff - but it's cool in an odd way lol. I just wish I could see him more, even if I didn't talk to him. He's SO hot! When I told my friend (who wasn't there) what happened she was like "go for him! he's so hot and cute and he looks really nice!" Yea, he's all that =) I don't like him though, don't get me wrong. I'd just like to have, an "affair" with him, lol! Well I gtg - I promise I'll try to update this more often, but it's gonna be hard - next week I'm gonna be quite busy bc I DON'T HAVE CLASSES!!! Weeeeee!!!!!! So I'll almost never be at home, lol. Well, laterz ********